Unfamiliar Grief: Healing After Child Loss

Grief doesn’t always show up the way we expect it to. Sometimes, it sneaks in quietly; in the stillness, in the unanswered questions, in the spaces where joy was supposed to live. For spouses, parents, and people in all walks of life, grief can take unfamiliar forms. And for Grace, that grief came with the heartbreaking loss of her first daughter, Charlotte Rose. In this episode of THEE Tea, we’re sitting down for some real talk about unfamiliar grief, why it needs a voice, and how to start healing when it feels like no one else understands.

We had a few technical hiccups at the beginning of this episode, but nothing was going to stop this important conversation from happening. Please watch our LIVE and RAW Conversation here.

What Is Unfamiliar Grief and Why It Hits So Hard

Let’s get real for a second. Unfamiliar grief is the kind of loss that people don’t always see or acknowledge. Maybe it’s a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Maybe it’s the grief over a future you never got to experience. Either way, it hurts. A lot. And what makes it harder? Most people don’t know what to say. Or worse—they don’t say anything at all.

That silence? It’s heavy. It can leave you feeling isolated, even when people mean well.

Why Talking About Child Loss and Miscarriage Matters More Than Ever

Grace’s story is a reminder that healing often starts with honesty. Back in 2016, she was five months pregnant when everything changed. Her husband was away at boot camp. She was alone. And she delivered a baby girl who never took a breath.

Because her husband was in basic training, she couldn’t just pick up the phone and call him. Instead, the devastating news was delivered to him through a formal Red Cross message—a process used for emergencies when communication is limited. Imagine learning that your first child has passed through a message read to you word-for-word by someone else. That was their reality.

For a long time, Grace kept her story close to her chest. But slowly, through her faith and her role as a mom, she found the courage to speak up. Now she shares Charlotte Rose’s memory openly with her daughters, her community, and in sacred moments like on Thee Tea here at MilSpouse Conversations.

Talking about grief doesn’t make it go away. But it does remind us that we’re not the only ones carrying it.

How To Cope With Child Loss: Steps for Healing in Silence

1. You don’t need anyone’s permission to grieve.
   No one else gets to decide whether your grief is “real enough.” If you lost a child at any stage, your pain is valid. Period.
2. You and your partner might grieve differently.
   Grace shared how her husband grieved differently. He never felt Charlotte kick. He didn’t experience the physical side of the pregnancy. But his loss was still real. Just…different. And that’s okay.
3. Your story matters.
   Even if you never tell it out loud, acknowledge your experience, even just to yourself. It is a powerful step toward healing.
4. Faith can help you hold on.
   Grace wasn’t deeply rooted in her faith when she lost Charlotte. But as she leaned into it later, she found strength and peace. Faith looks different for everyone, but finding a source of hope is key.
5. Kids are more aware than we think.
   Grace’s daughters know about their big sister. They pray for her. They talk about her. They even say they wish she could play Barbies with them. Including your living kids in gentle, age-appropriate conversations can build empathy and help them understand love and loss.

How To Support Someone Going Through Infant Loss

• Don’t ghost them. A simple “I’m here” can go a long way.
• You don’t have to fix it. Just be there.
• Ask their child’s name. Say it out loud. It matters.
• Follow their lead. Some people want to talk. Others don’t.
• Keep showing up. A text months later often means more than a dozen in the first week.

When Grief and Isolation Go Hand in Hand

Grief is hard enough. But when you’re far from friends, dealing with schedules or distance, or managing life without your usual support system, it hits differently. For Grace, the isolation was real. She was mostly alone when she lost Charlotte until her mom arrived at the hospital from work and her husband got emergency leave.

This kind of physical and emotional distance makes unfamiliar grief even more challenging to process. That’s why conversations like these matter. They give us space to talk, share, and breathe again.

Honoring Motherhood After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Loss

No matter how short the time was, you carried life. You planned, dreamed, prepared. That makes you a mother. Grace honors Charlotte with stories, with photos, and with a rose-shaped urn that sits in her home.

Love doesn’t disappear when someone leaves us. It evolves. And sometimes, it finds new ways to show up. Through our words, our memories, and how we love others.

Watch the Raw and Real Conversation

We opened up about unfamiliar grief, child loss, and what it means to hold space for these stories. Please watch our LIVE and RAW Conversation.

Before You Go

If you’re carrying quiet grief, know this: you’re not alone. Your story matters. Your baby matters. And you deserve a space to remember, to cry, to smile, and to heal.

Grace shared her heart to remind someone out there that healing is possible. If you know someone who might need to hear this, send it their way. It might be exactly what they need today.