There’s something magical about hindsight. It’s like watching a movie you’ve starred in, except now you notice the details you missed while living the scenes. My calling—to use my gift of gab in the military spouse community—has been one of those plotlines I resisted with everything in me. Let me tell you why.
Resisting the Call: Why I Didn’t Want to Be “That” Military Spouse
For the longest time, I didn’t want to be “that” military spouse. You know the one. The person who’s overly involved, seemingly thriving off the drama of military life, or worse, the spouse people whisper about at events: “Oh, she’s doing that because her husband is an officer.” I wanted no part of it. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I didn’t want to be lumped into some stereotype of the overbearing officer spouse. I wanted to live my life in peace, quietly rooting for my husband’s career while doing my own thing on the sidelines. But the sidelines? They weren’t my natural place, and deep down, I knew it.
Discovering My Gift of Gab
The truth is, I’ve always had the gift of gab. It’s my superpower. I’m the person who can talk to anyone, find common ground, and create space for meaningful conversations—whether they’re fun, raw, or downright uncomfortable. I’m the one you’ll find pulling the shy person out of the corner and into the mix. But accepting this gift meant standing out, and I wasn’t ready for that, at least not in the military community. I mean, you could find me sharing my gift of gab regularly at Mamas and Coffee®. In the military spouse world, assumptions can feel particularly challenging. There’s an unspoken pressure to either blend in or live up to an ideal that someone else has defined. The constant watchful eyes and whispers create a dynamic where it feels like every move is scrutinized, making it harder to simply be yourself.
Balancing Pride and Perceptions: The Officer Spouse Struggle
To be completely honest, I struggled with balancing pride in my husband’s accomplishments and not wanting people to think I was trying to wear his rank. Yes, my husband is an officer. He has worked his butt off to get where he is, and I’m incredibly proud of him. But his rank doesn’t define me, just like my being his spouse doesn’t define who I am. I’ve felt tension between wanting to celebrate him and fearing that others would see me as “better than” because of his position. Trust me, I’m just Sybil—a woman with big dreams, a big personality, and a desire to make an impact—regardless of my spouse’s title.
How It All Started: Meeting My Husband in College
Let me take you back to how it all started. I met my husband in college back in the late 1900s (hehe). I was a Logistics major with big plans to climb the corporate ladder, walk to the beat of my own drum, and live life on my terms. Marriage to a military man wasn’t part of the vision—at least not initially. But love has a funny way of rewriting the script. Once we started having children, I made the choice to step away from the corporate climb and stay home to raise our kids. That decision wasn’t because of the military or solely because of my husband. It was what felt right for me and for our family.
A Life-Changing Moment: My 2021 Stroke
And honestly, I love the waves and curveballs military life throws at us. Heck, so much so that I almost died at a military event—my husband’s farewell party. Oh, yeah, in case you didn’t know that story: I had a severe stroke in 2021 at my husband’s farewell. The cause? A rare condition known as carotid webbing. That life scare? It shook me to my core and pushed me to step out and fully commit to MilSpouse Conversations. If I was going to make an impact, the time was now.
Stepping Into My Calling: Embracing Fear and Rising Above
When I finally leaned into my calling, it wasn’t some lightning bolt moment. It was more like a quiet nudge that wouldn’t go away. I started to realize that my hesitations were rooted in fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of the stereotypes. Fear of being seen as “too much.” But here’s the thing: fear doesn’t serve me. It doesn’t serve my community. And it certainly doesn’t serve the countless spouses who might need to hear the words I have to share—to be reminded that it’s okay to BE YOU and to do so unapologetically.
So, I stepped up. I started using my voice, not to elevate myself, but to elevate others. To have the real, relatable, and sometimes messy conversations that people need. To create spaces where military spouses feel seen and heard—not as some cookie-cutter version of what a military spouse should be, but as the complex, unique individuals they are. And you know what? It feels right. It feels like home.
The Power of Community: Gratitude for THEE Conversation Starters, USAA, and Supporters
In 2025, I’m bringing the theme FEAR to MilSpouse Conversations—not just as a message to our audience but as a reminder for myself. FEAR stands for Face Everything and Rise. It’s about confronting the things that hold us back and rising above them. For me, it’s a daily commitment to step into my calling, face my doubts and judgments, and rise into the person I’m meant to be.
I’m still just me, Sybil. Living my life, doing my thing. But now, I’ve embraced the fact that my gift of gab isn’t just for me. It’s for the community. It’s for those who need a little more light, laughter, or real talk in their day. And if that means being “THAT” spouse sometimes, then so be it. Because at the end of the day, I’d rather be true to myself and my calling than hide in the shadows of someone else’s opinions.
As I reflect on this journey, I’m also deeply grateful for the military spouses known as THEE Conversation Starters who are taking this journey with me. They’ve heard and seen the tears, the multiple *&%*s. And thanks, Mom, for always watching. There were many episodes of THEE Tea that you were our only LIVE viewer. And you know what? That’s okay. I continued to push forward and look at where MSC is now! And oh, let’s not forget our Jr. Conversation Starters, aka my kids, who often reluctantly participated on THEE Tea, worked events, listened to me vent, but always, always brought ideas for great conversations. They have embraced the military child path with all three of our daughters PCSing their senior year of high school. To our sponsor USAA, who has supported my vision and mission since 2022. To our listeners and viewers who support through our Buy Me A Coffee supporter platform. And to my husband, who asks me the tough questions and really hears the ^&$s—you’d think I was the sailor, not him. 🙂
And finally, THANK YOU to all. For all the support of THEE Place to BE. And that place is MSC!
