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Two gold wedding rings on top of a wooden table.

Being a perfect military spouse isn’t about knowing every acronym associated with the military or recognizing every insignia on a military member’s uniform. It isn’t even about volunteering, attending or participating in every function for your spouse’s command.

But being the PERFECT Military Spouse is about YOU and your military member. Thee Conversation Starters share some of their best tips to help you.

Don’t forget about YOU

Being the PERFECT anything is like beauty. It’s all in the eye of the beholder.

But throughout my 20 years as a military spouse, these tips have served me and my family well.

Don’t lose your identity as you embark on this adventure. You are YOU first and always. You married a military member and that brings a unique lifestyle, but you MUST always remember who YOU are. Practice self-care, aka ME TIME, and put YOUrself first. It’s ok to say no to others to ensure you’re rested and taken care of. Have open and honest conversations with your spouse. It’s important to let your spouse know how you’re feeling, as well as it is to listen to your spouse.

And remember these 6 six simple words. Know You Be You Love You®

One last tip from me. Give your spouse a little eye candy. Being cute and sexy is good for YOU and helps keep the fire burning in your marriage. #IsaidwhatIsaid ~Sybil

Be the best military spouse that YOUR family needs

  • BE supportive
  • BE understanding
  • BE helpful
  • and BE aware of how your actions can affect your spouse’s military journey.

This can be hard to do, but it is actually important to handle your emotions, own your finances, and develop a career or hobbies of your own. Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually will allow you to be the best you, you can be. ~Lori

Watch this episode to get all THEE TEA about being the perfect military spouse.

Keep an open mind and be adaptable

I would say the most important thing to remember in this milspouse life is to carry an open-mind and to be adaptable. Military life is unpredictable and full of changes. Things will not always go your way, and you won’t always go to the duty station of your choice. You and your family will be asked to make sacrifices you necessarily don’t want to make. But if you keep an open mind and find the good, this life can be quite the adventure, and the experience will make you the perfect military spouse! ~Robin

Focus on being the perfect spouse for YOUR own service member

My best advice on being the perfect military spouse to your own service member is to filter any advice about how to connect with your spouse during a deployment or how to talk to your spouse in general, through what you think is best for you and your own spouse. You know your own marriage and what works and doesn’t work. ~Julie 

So there you have it. To be the perfect military spouse is about focusing on YOU and YOUr family’s needs. You got this. And remember, you will need and want friends or fellow military spouses to talk with through this adventure. MilSpouse Conversations is always here to chat and encourage you.

Check out our list of virtual and in-person events to connect and have REAL conversations.